To conclude, a story from Japanese antiquity. It tells of a samurai, combative as a ruff, who commanded a Zen master to explain the principles of doom and glory. But the monk spoke contemptuously to the general: “You are nothing. Why should I waste time with people like you!”

The samurai raged furiously, mortified to the depths of his honour, and yelling loudly he drew his sword, kindled in a passion to assault the aged cleric: “I will not hesitate, nor delay that I am here with you, for your impudence, shall take your life.”

“That”, replied the elderly monk resignedly, “is doom”.

The samurai calmed down, struck by the reality in the master's words about the wrath that had held him captive. He put away his sword, bowed humbly, and thanked the monk for the insight.”

"And that," said the monk, "is glory."

This story of the monk and the samurai can be interpreted in different ways. For me, as I have tried to demonstrate with this essay, self-coaching presupposes reciprocity about our emotional world. Self-coaching does not mean that all insight into how to deal with our feelings should come from within ourselves.

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"And that," said the monk, "is glory."

In the story, the samurai takes the step to the master. Taking these steps is important. I myself invariably say to people who come to ask for advice: “My dear friend, today I invite you to take 1 step forward. 1 step can be enough to set a lot in motion”.

In the case of a life crisis, that step may mean that the self-coach realizes that counseling or even therapy is needed. As in the example of the samurai. The master said he had no level. We can interpret this as having a mental problem. In the end, that the samurai wanted to kill the master in an impulsive fit of rage was no small matter.

Be that as it may, the glory that the samurai eventually obtained is a symbol of the visionary insight that sets us free, of self-coaching that becomes dialogue and ultimately co-coaching. Because, what we must not forget: the master also permanently learns about himself through sharing with the other.

Once we are free, we enter our land of peace. It is a country of discovering that we are all emotional people, of living fully with our emotional world, of dreams that become reality and give us joy in life, of sharing and inviting each other into the richness of our emotional world.

To become free is to be a child and learn from our mother, our father. It is the ode to the child in each of us:

Beautiful days.

Every day is beautiful.

my dear child,

at the setting of the sun,

at night at bedtime,

can we reminisce a little longer?

Our heart is happy, it is free.

Close your eyes, my dear child,

and think of all that is beautiful,

forget everything else, just do that.

Freedom is a smile

on your face,

it comes from your heart

because deep inside you

know you are not alone.

Freedom is an angel

a boyfriend,

your mommy, your daddy,

your brother or sister,

people from the neighbors,

students at school,

teachers, the baker.

Close your eyes, my dear child,

you too are part of that chain,

you also set other people free.

You are an angel, a flower,

a sun, a butterfly.

You are all that is beautiful.

The sun is always there.

We sometimes say:

then the sun shines.

But that is not it.

It's just the clouds

that prevent

that we fully

can enjoy the sun.

The sun is always there.

That way we are always free.

Alone, our lives are often covered

with clouds, gray clouds,

dark gray

jet-black thunderclouds sometimes.

Can we see the clouds

to master our lives?

This art of mastery

is the key to freedom.

my dear child,

your freedom is the key

that opens the door

to the heart of the other.

Go find.

Never let go.

Life is worth living.